i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
birth control should be required to get into college
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
