So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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