honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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