ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
