OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
