i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
