I feel like abortions should bother me more
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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