She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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