a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
