VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
