A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
