i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
