i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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