i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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