forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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