The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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