I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
