So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
