You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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