Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
