I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
