Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
