at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
