i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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