how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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