You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
