her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
