he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize