You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
