we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
