I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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