I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
This toilet bowl is my home.
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