the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
