I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
