battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
