It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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