i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
