well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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