i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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