From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize