If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
