he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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