Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
