Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
