i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
