when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
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I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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