Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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