good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
When are your genitals available?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.