why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.