forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
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good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
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There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing