you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
