I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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