Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
