I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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