Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
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