I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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