I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We need to get me chipped asap
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
