the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
